Nuka Meduka
by Fizzy 13
Summary: Madoka Magica x Fallout. War. War never changes. Especially when it has to do with contracts. Meduka Konamu was just another girl born and raised in a Safe, an underground fallout shelter that saved her ancestors from nuclear annihilation. When a malfunction threatens the Safe's existence, Meduka must venture out into the wasteland and save her home.
1. PROLOGUE: I LOOK UP AS I WALK

AN: Completely can't remember where I got the idea for this. Maybe it was the recent Fallout 4 announcement, coupled with my recent watching of Rebellion. In any case, I admit that I'm still groping about trying to figure out how to write this. So from the get go, I'll say it, updates will take some time. Tips, reviews, and feedback are always welcome.

Just some general advice before we begin: listen to Kyu Sakamoto's _Ue Wo Muite Arukou ("Sukiyaki")_ while reading the narrative part, and imagine the exposition part being done by Ron Perlman.

Now, without any further ado...

Disclaimer: Meduka Meguca belongs to Gen, SHAFT, and Coobie. Fallout belongs to Bethesda, and THE ENCLAVE. GOD BLESS THE ENCLAVE.

 **NUKA MEDUKA**

 **A CROSSOVER (MEDUKA MEGUCA x FALLOUT)**

 **BY FIZZY 13**

 **PROLOGUE: I LOOK UP AS I WALK**

 _In a dusty, dilapidated old appliance store, an ancient gramophone spins to life._

 _With the last ounces of its energy, it begins playing the vinyl record beneath its needle – Kyu Sakamoto's top international hit,_ Ue Wo Muite Arukou, _better known as_ Sukiyaki.

 _Dust flies into the air as a white rat scampers from behind the varnished brown turntable, agitated by the music._

 _It runs along the aged, disjointed shelf, which holds various electrical trinkets like toasters, TV's, and what can only be described as a bulky analog "laptop" with a sign saying "SALE! ONLY 2,000,000 YEN!"._

 _All are worn with time, covered in dust, and a grim picture of the past._

 _The rat jumps over to the next shelf, flying past a poster of the Emperor holding up a blue flag with thirteen white stars surrounding the familiar Rising Sun of Japan, but colored to match the stars and radiating 26 extremely thin rays._

 _The poster's tagline reads, in both Kanji and English, "RETAKE AOMORI! LIBERATE HOKKAIDO!"_

 _The rat scurries behind a variety of Safe-chan bobbleheads, one giving a thumbs up gesture, another holding up a wrench, and a third brandishing a katana._

 _The music grows fainter as the rodent reaches the ajar door, and slips out into the outside world, a once great metropolis utterly devastated._

 _Rubble litters the streets, and the buildings are close to falling apart._

 _A scrap of paper flies by the store front, carried by harsh winds until it gets caught by a young lime-haired girl in a matching lime green dress, a giant axe strapped to her back._

 _She looks at the scrap, an advertisement from a so-called Mitsuyota Zaibatsu to sign up for the "Safe Program", before crumpling the paper and tossing it aside._

 _The girl has no use for useless advice from a long dead and forgotten world._

 _She turns upward at the dull green sky and an incoming storm in the distance._

 _Calmly, she goes into the store, and follows the music to its source, the gramophone._

 _The pleasant old world tune slowly starts to twist and deform into a wild shrieking noise as the turntable starts to shake violently._

 _The girl draws her axe and leaps at the gramophone, now glowing a sinister red._

War. War never changes.

The Romans conquered their Egyptian allies to consolidate their power over the Mediterranean. England and France exchanged blows for a hundred years to decide who would sit on the throne. The Axis powers waged a campaign of genocide to cleanse the Earth of the weak and unfit.

But war never changes.

Since the latter half of the 20th century, war was continually waged over who would hold the most power. Only this time, the old causes for these wars took on new names: Democracy. Communism. Nationalism. For these reasons, China would invade Hokkaido. The US would reinitiate the occupation of Japan. And the Emperor's allies, memories still fresh from their earlier humiliation at the hands of America, formed a conspiracy to put their sovereign back in power.

In the year 2077, a war unlike any other consumed all other wars in its fury, including those being fought in Japan. Nuclear fire rained down on the Earth, splitting mountains and boiling the oceans. In two short hours, nearly all life on the planet was extinguished.

The few who survived did so in the confines of the great underground Safes. Her family was part of a group that was able to enter Safe 17. It was here, where She was born. Encased in steel, beneath a mountain of stone, a hundred years have passed with no contact with the outside world.

Life in the Safe is about to change.

AN: I actually did draw the flag described in the story. Just PM me if you wanna see it or something. Safe-chan, not so much, sadly. I'm more for symbols than characters.

Again, feedback is very much appreciated. Thanks.


	2. I JUST SEND ME!

**AN:** So I was originally thinking of using the original names, but I figured that this would best to fit the screwball tone by using the Meduka names. They're technically drawn in the normal way (rather than the off model goofs that became Meduka Meguca), and they aren't as grammatically dumbed down, but what the hey. Just follow the 3 R's: Read, ROFL, and Review.

 **Disclaimer:** Meduka Meguca is the property of Gen, SHAFT, and Coobie. Fallout is the property of Bethesda and the Enclave.

 **I. JUST SEND ME!**

 **OR**

 **IN WHICH MEDUKA IS EXPOSED TO EXPOSITION**

Konamu Meduka pushed the intercom button on the console next to the door to the Overseer's office. After a quick burst of static, his aged voice finally went through.

"Yes, what is it?"

"Uhm… Sir, it's me."

A static-filled silence filled the other end of the line, as if the Overseer was still trying to recall who "me" was, exactly. Perhaps it had to do with the fact that he was already pushing sixty-five. Approximately ten seconds passed before he finally answered. "Ah, yes. I've been expecting you. Come on in."

The door slid open with a hydraulic hiss, and Meduka stole a peek of the inside to check up on the Overseer, in case he was mistaken in his choice to call her up.

"Well don't just stand there," the Overseer glanced up at her with a certain hint of impatience before getting back to the stack of papers on his desk. "I already told you to come in. The longer you dally, the less time we have."

"Y… yes sir!" Meduka sheepishly hustled into the room and stood directly in front of the Overseer's desk.

The wizened supervisor of the Safe signed one last sheet of paper and placed it on the stack, before facing his guest once again. "Alright, here's the situation. Right now, the boys in engineering are in a state of panic."

"Why?" And what did this have to do with her? Did she cause it by accident?

"Our water control chip has gone kaput. Poof!" the Overseer stretched his arms out in an exaggerated fashion, as if acting out a big explosion. "We don't have the parts to build a new one, and the control system is too complicated to jury rig."

"So… that means we have a water shortage…?" That still didn't explain what that had to do with her.

"Exactly!" The Overseer slammed his fist down on the desk. "And no water equals no Safe! We need you to go out there and get us a new water chip!" He pointed his crusty old finger right at the girl's nose.

"Oh, is that all?" Meduka nodded to herself. That wasn't so bad. "Well why didn't you say all I had to do was go out and get a new water ch- WHAT?"

"This will be a dangerous quest, but it is _vital_ to our survival! Our Safe, our _home_ , dependson you coming back with a new water chip!" The Overseer was now raising his hands up high as if praying to some kami.

"W… wait! Hold it!" Meduka held her hands up as if to stop him.

"Yes?"

"I'm only fourteen!"

"Yes."

"And you're sending me out into a glowing green irradiated nuclear wasteland?"

"Yes."

"… isn't there something wrong with that…?"

The Overseer rubbed his chin, pausing to think over the situation. "Yes, you're absolutely right."

Meduka sighed in relief.

"You're actually kinda too old. Most valiant questers I've seen are usually around ten. Alright, I'll get Satoshi to go find a new water chip instead."

"Wait no, that's not what I meant!"

"Hmm… yes, you're right. It'll probably take him forever to finish the quest, and he'll likely end up collecting a scraggly bunch of mutated pests as pets while he's at it. This clearly requires a woman's touch. In that case, I'll send Nanoha to-"

"No, no! Just send me! They're both _way_ too young for this!"

The Overseer blinked at the comment, which to him, sounded absurd. "Are you sure about this? You're too old and might not make it back, after all."

Meduka rubbed her forehead, trying to understand what was wrong with this old man. "As long as you tell Dad that it was my choice to go. I don't want any kids getting killed on my account. And if I can be useful enough to save the Safe too, why not?"

"That's the spirit!" The Overseer gave her an energetic slap on the back. "Now, you should be very careful. Up there's nothing but a blasted wasteland full of death, decay, and badly mutated highly radioactive monstrosities that will rip your guts out – at best – if you so much as look at them funny!"

Meduka swallowed a lump. Just what did she get herself into? "That sounds… really bad."

"And that's why you've got to be careful! Oh, and here." The Overseer reached under his desk and handed the girl a 10mm pistol, as well as two clips of ammunition.

"But I don't know how to use this!"

"You've seen the gun safety videos, yes?"

"Well yes, but-"

"Then that's all you need to know about keeping your gun in shape!"

"But what about using it?"

"Didn't your dad take you Radroach hunting with a BB gun on your tenth birthday?"

"Yes, but that was a BB gun, not-"

"That'll do." The Overseer motioned towards the bulky device on her wrist, her PIP-Boy. "I'll mark it on your map for you." After tinkering some with the device, a new waypoint appeared on the PIP-Boy's map, labeled 'Extra Water Chip'. Not that it helped much. The entire area outside of the Safe was nothing but unmapped blackness. Presumably, this would eventually fill up as she went to these locations. Ah, the marvels of Pre-War technology!

"So…" Meduka studied the waypoint and scratched her head. "Is there just a water chip lying around in this general area, or…?"

"That's the location of another Safe, Safe 13. According to the Overseer's manual, each Safe is supposed to come with at least one extra water chip, but the bombs fell before we could finish stocking up Safe 17. Our extra chip never arrived."

"Wow, the war really was that bad, huh?"

"Historical records can only tell us so much. You'll have to go outside and see it for yourself." The Overseer nodded to himself in a self-satisfactory tone.

"Is there anything else I should know before I go?"

"Yes, one last thing." The Overseer's face turned grave as he looked down at his terminal screen, before looking back up at this girl he was about to potentially send to her death, because she was too old to go on a quest. "When you're bored, you can always switch your radio on."

"But wouldn't the bombs have destroyed all the radio stations in Japan?"

"Details!" The Overseer raised his hands to the sky. "The radio will be your best friend! I guarantee it! Now then! Are there any more questions?"

Meduka reluctantly shook her head, as if still unsure of whether all her questions were satisfactorily answered.

The next thing she knew, she was nervously standing in a walkway just inside the giant Safe blast door. What awaited her outside? Aside from radiation, of course?

Well, she'd find out soon enough.

The moment of truth arrived as the klaxons began to wail and the Safe blast door ominously rolled open, leading to the dark cave within which the Safe was constructed.

Meduka, holding her sidearm on the ready, slowly crossed the walkway leading to the outside. "Hey, I just realized, can I have some body armor from secu- Hey!"

As soon as the blast door was behind her, it had started to roll back into place, threatening to shut her out from the safety of home.

"Hey wait! HEY!" Her shouts fell on deaf ears. Or, she forgot to use the radio, since the door control room was out of earshot.

Meduka turned the dial on the outside control panel, searching for the intercom. Finally, the Overseer's voice came through. "Good luck, Meduka! And remember! You're our _only_ hope!"

"Say I was just saying, maybe I can get some of the-"

The intercom crackled, and went dead. Apparently, that crazy old geezer had thought she wanted to hear final words of inspiration or something. Far from it.

Sighing, Meduka turned back to face the darkness, and took her first step out into the wasteland. She ended up tripping over something instead.

"What the…"

Switching on her PIP-Boy light, her eyes widened and her mouth fell agape as she saw a skeleton wearing a Safe Suit. Judging from the height, it was about her age, and was holding a pretty pink plastic stick in its right hand, with an extra clip of 10mm ammo in its left. Stickered to the left side of its chest was a name tag. 'Hi! My Name Is: USAGI'.

How long had she been lying out here? Well, maybe it was an earlier exploration attempt gone bad. Maybe this was why the Overseer was saying she was at risk of dying. He'd sent out another 14-year-old a while back, and she didn't even make it out of the cave.

Clasping her hands together and apologizing for tripping over this unfortunate pile of remains, Meduka relieved it of the 10mm clip and the plastic stick. Who knows? Maybe it would somehow come in handy.

She placed both items in her inventory and slowly made her way to the cave mouth. The rest of that short trip was uneventful, thankfully enough.

Finally reaching the wooden mineshaft entrance, which somehow survived a nuclear blast, she fiddled with the latch and pushed it open.

Harsh sunlight poured into the mineshaft, forcing Meduka to shield her eyes with her left arm, as they adjusted to the new light. Looks like the _Leaving the Safe_ video was right. Maybe she should have asked for protective eyewear before leaving.

Well it was too late for that now.

The blinding blur eventually turned into a case of utterly blasted scenery. The ruined corpses of buildings, black forests of dead trees long burnt to a crisp, and twisted skeletons of metallic frames stretched out in every direction, and as far as the eye could see. From the look of things, the Safe was built underneath what used to be a park. Really? A park? Well, it was a start…

Meduka checked her PIP-Boy map. This place was once a city called Mitakihara… and judging from what she could see, it had a _lot_ of glass architecture. Her ancestors lived here over a hundred years ago, before they escaped into the Safe. Boy was she lucky they did.

According to the map, Safe 13 was somewhere due east, near what was either a small lake, or a really big pond.

"Might as well get this over with fast." Stretching her limbs, Meduka began to head east, making a beeline for Safe 13…

AN: So, it was only after Fallout 4 came out that I actually got back to finish his. It was definitely worth the wait. Gonna try to update more often. Can't assure that, but well… we'll see.

So that's it! Don't forget to review! Because I really want your feedback!


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